pirate vs. civilian

Meet my brother Randy.

Today Randy called me. This was our conversation:

Me: ...yeah, I bought Christian a cool shirt for our anniversary.

Randy: A ship?

Me: A shirt.

Randy: Oh.

......a pirate ship? Or a civilian ship?

Me: A shirt. Not a ship.

Randy: Oh. Well, what kind of ship would you buy? A pirate or civilian?

Me: I wouldn't buy a ship.

Randy: Well if you bought one, which one would you buy? A pirate or civilian?

Me: It doesn't matter because I didn't buy a ship.

Randy: I know! But what kind would you buy? Pirate or civilian?

Me: I wouldn't buy a ship.

Randy:Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii know! But does Christian want anything aquatic like?

Me: He wants a wakeboarding boat one day.

Randy: What kind? A pirate boat or a civilian boat?

Me: I don't know. Civilian I guess.

Randy: Good. Cause it's bad to buy pirate ships.

Me: Oh.

Randy: I have to go.

Thanks for the advice Rand. I'll make sure any future ship I purchase is civilian and not pirate.

Good thing Randy's married to Kiah who is awesome and keeps Randy in his place.